Hey STIB, it's The Stache

I know everyone missed the 3-pk of picks last week, but The Stache wasn't feeling it. This week, however, you can can pay your house off with the 3-pk.

LSU -18 in KnoxVegas
If you did you homework early in the week you could have gotten this at -15, but regardless the Honey Badger and crew will feast on the remains of Mr. Simms.

Prediction: LSU 34 UT 10

UGA -11 in NashVegas
UGA is playing with confidence and are showing they want to win the SEC East. Vandy meanwhile has reverted to true form.

Prediction: UGA 31 Vandy 6

Okie St. -7.5 in Austin
There are few times when Vegas misses, this is one of those times. Texas is nursing the OU hangover and the Pokes want to show the nation they are better than OU. This spells trouble for the young Longhorns.

Prediction: Okie St. 44. Texas 24

Barking Dog of the Week:
Northwestern +6 in Iowa City.....Two words: Dan Persa.
That and the fact the Wildcats love the pink lockroom in Iowa City, they own the offenseless Hawkeyes.

Prediction: Northwestern 34 Iowa 24

See you next week when we look to make a down payment on that lovely cottage on Sanibel Island.

TS_Mustache

STIB, it's me with more WINNERS!!

Well last week went as planned, except it appears Notre Dame didn't get the memo that the Stache picked them to cover. So we went 2-1 last week and the Barking Dog covered easily and should have taken the Zookers down, but we'll take the cover.

This week we have more winners for you, enough talk.....here is The Stache's 3-pk of the Week.

Navy -3.5 v. Air Force
A noon kick-off spells trouble for the Falcons, hope they don't miss the early wake-up call.

Navy 34 Air Firce 24

Wisconsin -10 v. Nebraska
Camp Randall will be electric. Russell Wilson becomes a national Heisman candidate and the Badgers will roll.

Wisconsin 48 Nebraska 31

Stanford -22 v. UCLA
TWO WORDS: WOOD SHED

Stanford 55 UCLA 17

Barking Dog of the Week:
ECU +7 v. UNC
The Pirates get the Heels at home. This is a game they live for, UNC will still be reeling from the loss to GaTech and will get caught off guard.

ECU 31 UNC 28.

Until next week.

TS Mustache

Time to Call your STIB

The Stache is back after spending the first three weeks of the college football season digesting the early season match-ups.  Now the Stache is back to help you get a return, which is something your Netflix stock hasn't been able to do the past month.

Not that we condone having a STIB here at Punt on 3rd Down, but in the event you do have one, here are the Stache's 3-pk picks of the week along with the Barking Dog of the Week.

UF -19.5 @ Kentucky
It always seems that UF gets more big plays against UK than any other team, which is a large part of the reason they have won 24 consecutive games against the Cats.  The Cats are coming off a loss to the Charlie Strong's bunch in the Battle of the Bluegrass, which Florida won rather easily of the Vols.

Expect to continue to see a lot of Demps and Rainey with Burton in the red zone for TD's (he only had 6 v. UK last season).

Prediction:  UF 34 UK 6


Notre Dame -7 @ Pitt
Notre Dame seems to have solved their battle with turnovers, expect that trend to continue........you will here Rees to Floyd an awful lot on Saturday with multiple times those connections leading to 6.

Pitt simply won't be able to handle the ND attack.

Prediction:  ND 31 Pitt 20


LSU -6 @ WVU
Everyone knows the Stache loves him some Holgo, but WVU is about to run into a brick wall, literally the LSU defensive front will dominate this game and permenantly take up residence beside Geno Smith in the WVU backfield.

WVU's offense likes to spread the field and take advantage of their speed, unfortunately LSU is even faster. 

Prediction:  LSU 26  WVU 12

Barking Dog of the Week:  Western Michigan +13 @ Illinois

Just when you thought it was safe to start giving Illinois props, they go Zook on you.  Coming off a big win over Arizona St (is there a more overhyped team in the Country?) last week.  The Fighting Zookers will come in with a hangover and before you know they will be looking at the scoreboard in the 4th quarter and it will show they are down by a TD.  The question is how will they respond?????  The only way the Zooker knows how.....crumble under the adversity.

Prediction:  WMU 24 Zookers 17

Until Next Week

- TS Mustache

The Creamsicles are Coming!

Watch out Gainesville; Vol Fans are invading and there is nothing you can do but lock up the wife and kids.  Don't lock yourself up though, otherwise you'll miss the train wreck.  And a Glorious Train Wreck it is!

THERE IS NO POOR LIKE MOUNTAIN POOR

Its a little douche-y, but better than anything Kenny Chesney does:

HOT DAMN ITS TENNESSEE WEEK!

In a few short days, the town named after hogs will be invaded by a few.  Though I have scavenged my way through many SEC venues, no fan base is more flummoxing than VOL fan.  Why such an easy target?  It has to do with the location itself.  Perhaps to a WVA or VT fan, the VOL fan is more familiar.  That creature of the hills that plays only a banjo, eschews dentures, and values the Rubenesque woman is somewhat alien to the decorous gentry of the rest of the SEC.  

Gator fan is confident, no, make that assured, that the VOL fan only comes out of this home amongst the clouds and smoke to attend UT games.  A quick survey of Neyland Stadium confirms this.  To wit, the following panorama:

 

Never when perusing these faces do we see economic or social success on any level.  We see self-imposed misery on a level that defies educational classification.  Where would someone like this live?  In the hills, of course, high above those condescending masses who, at every step, would compel the VOL fan back into their unenviable place on the social strata. 

It is football, and football only where this creature may find some modicum of superiority, and their beloved VOLS have given it to them in short doses.  However, it has been rather short lived.  But, that doesn't stop the craving VOL fan has for an opportunity to feign superiority and, as Stevie Winwood put it, be back in the high life again.

So they will come, these pitiable masses.  They will be loud, they will be encumbered by ingesting their own homemade tonic, they will dance to their own peculiar anthem, one that testifies to their humble beginnings, and they will hope against hope for a very rare win in the SWAMP.  Because, as anyone sleeping on a dirt terrain aspires:  Maybe, just maybe, I can have a floor.

~  STAN GABLE ~

Average UGA fan's conversation with Mark Richt

Ocular Patdown

Sweet Tea, Pecan Pie, and Homeade Wine

Is there anything more Southern than biscuits and white, sausage gravy; Paula Dean; boiled peanuts; grits; waving a flag embroidered with a rattle snake and the words ‘don’t tread on me’; fried chicken & collard greens; driving your quad cab, jacked up, 4x4 6.2L, V8 diesel engine F350-King Ranch equipped with an XM radio tuned to ‘Willie’s Roadhouse’, all on a white sandy beach somewhere between Mobile and Pensacola, with a beer in one hand and your arm around some little bikini clad sweet thang sittin on the middle (aka ‘bitch’) seat?  Quite amazingly, the answer is overwhelmingly and uncontestably YES!  What could be more Southern than all of this, you ask.  Why Football of course.  But not just any brand of football will suffice.  No true Southerner will settle for that pretentious style they play in the Ivy League; or the arena flair offered in the Big East.  The chest thumping, head butting, plodding along offered up by the B1G just won’t do either.  Neither the defenseless Longhorn League (ooops, I mean Big 12), nor the three ring circus that is the ACC can pass for even a poor quality counterfeit.  And most certainly and assuredly, the half-hearted, half-empty (and that’s being optimistic) stadiums situated in campuses full of bravado, bravura leaders of cheer, and bounties of fish tacos offered as a late night snack by the Pac 12 will not satiate the ravenous hunger for football so welcomed and embraced by Southerners.  When it comes to Football in the South, Southerners—True Southerners—only use the term when referring to SEC football.

For those trying to figure out the enigma that is the South and its microcosmic sport, it may be difficult to understand what it means to be the SEC.  The SEC is not just a loose nit collection of post-secondary institutions—with little geographic or historical significance—choosing to throw an oblong ball on a gridiron patch of grass for the sole purpose of appeasing alumni and boosters through a half-hearted commitment to maintaining school spirit.  The SEC is more or less, the exact opposite.  So what is the SEC?  The SEC is 69 years of the Tiger Rag and jambalaya in the bayo; sippin bourbon with the coeds on The Grove and givin your best Rebel yell; wearin houndstooth print and killin rival oak trees; downin lemonade on Toomer’s Corner before marvelin at a bird of prey descending to the 50 yard line; havin a fever where the only cure is ‘MORE COWBELL’; callin in the pigs with your best ‘pig sueey’;  sangin ‘Rockey Top’ and throwin your own goal post into the Tennessee River after beating your rival for the first time in 6 tries; yellin ‘wait until basketball season’; accepting ‘you’ll work for me one day’ and ‘we invented country music’ as a legitimate retort to insults on your football stadium, program, and cheerleaders; ‘sicken’ your fat bulldog on your rivals’ crotch and hittin on true southern bells between the hedges; throwin a party in a Cock-a-Boose; sangin ‘We are the Boys’ with your arm wrapped around a complete stranger you feel like you’ve known all your life; it’s 6 of the 10 largest college football stadiums sold out every home game;  it’s hard-nosed, FAST football, played in the hottest and most humid environments imaginable; it’s 9 national titles in 20 years; it’s 7 BCS national titles in 13 years; it’s 5 BCS titles in a row.

5 consecutive national titles shared by 4 teams from one conference.  Is there any question regarding the superiority of the SEC?  Is the SEC invincible?  Is it a safe bet to take the SEC over the field in Vegas?  Well, if you answered yes to the first question, you are either an idiot or high (or both).  While it may appear that the SEC is invincible because it has stockpiled by far the most talented players, coaches, and fans in the country, college football doesn’t necessarily reward you for being the best.  Instead, college football rewards you for not losing and having a high pre-season ranking.  Look at Auburn in 2004; undefeated with probably the best defense in the country, but no invitation granted to the big party in Miami that year.  Florida needed miracles on championship Saturday in 1996 and 2006 to garner invitations to the prime time events each of those years.  LSU edged out number 1 ranked USC (AP and USA today polls) in 2003 in the BCS poll for a chance to take on Oklahoma and won the title again in 2007 with 2 losses (first time in history)—again needing near miracles on championship Saturday.  Heck, in 1998, if Clint Stoerner doesn’t try to recover his fleeting balance with the football, Fat Fulmer never lifts the crystal ball—but yet he did and the SEC ushered in the BCS era and its subsequent reign in true SEC style (superior lines of scrimmage on both sides of the ball).  My point is not that the SEC won all those titles because they were lucky—they won them because they were better than the field.  Instead, my point is that with a system that rewards teams for taking as few chances as possible during the season, it took a perfect storm for the SEC to get into the big game during their 20 year campaign to plunder and pillage every trophy imaginable.  So, it’s really just a matter of time before a Virginia Tech and an Oklahoma go undefeated, edging out a potentially much better SEC side with only 1 loss, and breaking the well-earned SEC streak.  So, if I’m betting on the field or the SEC, I’m taking the field.  But give me a playoff system and I’m taking the SEC every year.

So what does the SEC look like this year?  Well for starters, they are a smaller conference than they will be in the near future (expansion is inevitable, it’s just a question of who and when; odds are on at least TAMU joining the ranks http://www.tamu.edu/athletics/conferenceChange.html).  Secondly, the West is much deeper than the East.  And finally, the best four teams in the league all play each other at least once before the SEC championship game.  Odds are in favor of cannibalism stealing the shot at another crystal ball from the eager hands of the SEC commish.  From a divisional standpoint, there is quite a bit of new blood in the SEC east, and for the first time in what seems… well ever… stability in the west.

SEC East:

South Carolina—This is the most talented team the SpurDog has had since 2001; including 2 seasons in D.C.  But with a boozing QB and an impatient playcaller at the helm, this team is destined for disappointment.  The Game Cocks can pull up a seat next to Arkansas and expect another trip to Atlanta with not title.  

Florida—Nobody’s crying for this UF team.  Don’t believe me, just ask ‘Coach’.  Young, talented and hungry to make a name for themselves, this team will play with passion.  Unfortunately youth in the secondary and a third OC for the senior QB will lead to mistakes at pivotal moments in big games.

Tennessee—maybe the team is only one step away from getting MRSA, but they will be much better than a year ago.  Time heals all Kiffin wounds, just look at the Raiders who were a hair away from the playoffs last year (2 years removed from the Kiffinable Snowman).  Unfortunately for UT, it will take at least one more year to have a shot at getting over the hump—assuming the CDC doesn’t quarantine the entire team first.

UGA—With a lame duck HBC, it will be tough to motivate this team after they lose to USC-e early in the season.  Expect overly conservative play calling, dancing in the endzone, and a few uniform changes to motivate this team, but don’t expect a return to the 80’s just yet, UGA fan.  You might also want to break out another ice block for that fat dog of yours, because it’s going to be a long season.

UK—Is it basketball season yet?

Vandy—crickets chirping…”screw the football game, let’s go to Broadway and get slammed!”

SEC West:

Alabama—The Godfather of the SEC coaching tree is pissed at the media… which is a good thing if you are Bama fan.  A Pissed Saban means a productive (albeit miserable) coaching staff.  The 2011 Tide will be as talented on defense as they’ve been and the O-line will magically never hold anyone all season long.  If they can avoid injuries, they may find themselves in Nawlens at the end of the season.

LSU—High hats, high players, and high crime rate in Baton Rouge these days.  Did Miles hire Ron Zook as the quality control coach and not tell anyone?  LSU will be strong on defense, of course, but will have spotty play at the QB position and equally crazy play calling from the coaching staff.  This team will out-talent most of its opponents, but expect losses to Oregon and Alabama.

Arkansas—One broken ankle away from kicking disappointment down the road to September 24 or November 26.  At least now the little piggies will have an excuse when they can’t get over the hump… yet again.  Lots of offense, but not enough defense from this team.  Nevertheless, if I was picking a team to really derail the SEC train, it’s Arkansas.  Arkansas is good enough to beat anyone on their schedule, but not good enough to beat everyone on their schedule.  The greatest irony would be for a 2 loss Arkansas team to face an undefeated USC team (for the second time) in Atlanta and to win; consequently becoming the literal and figurative Cock Blockers for the SEC and South Carolina.

Mississippi State—The Mullen monster is smarter than you and will not hesitate to let you know.  Unfortunately, he will never have more talent than you in Starkvegas, thus making it impossible for him to prove that he is smarter than you by beating you consistently.  But then again, I’m sure that he is convinced that by somehow almost beating you with less talent proves he is smarter than you and therefore he is better than you because he lost to you.  Expect tons of cow bells, zone option, and quarterback draws.  Heck, they might even have another 10-7 win up their sleeve.

Auburn—Chzik will have to win this season by outcoaching his opponents.  The odds makers are not favoring his ability to achieve such a feat.  Expect a rapid descent into purgatory for the least well known BCS championship coach in history.  Let this be a lesson to all: if you sell your soul to the devil, he will steal your single moment of notoriety from under your feet and piss on your face; leaving you soulless and empty handed.

Ole Miss—There is plenty of tailgating to go around, plenty of classy southern bells, but not a lot of wins.  The Nutt is going to upset some teams, but you can’t win a lot of games with less talent on the lines of scrimmage and inconsistent quarterback play.

And like the prodigal son, Football season returns.  So slaughter the fattened calf and bust out the special hooch.   

It’s time to kick this mother fuggin beast off!

 ~March Hare~

David v. SEC

Blessed we are to have a seminal moment in week 1, when the SEC faces a critical out of conference matchup. No, I’m not referring to the game in Jerry World that matches up what could very well be the best two teams in the nation. My focus Saturday will be at the Georgia Dome when Boise State comes to visit (and yes, it is a home game for them) UGA.

In January 2007, the landscape of college football changed in two separate games played in the same stadium. Little known (outside of gamblers) Boise State capped a dream season by not only beating mighty Oklahoma, but did so in a manner that would top the most creative screenplay Hollywood could offer. Days later, Florida defied all experts and pummeled #1 Ohio State in the national title game.

Since that month, Boise State has become the poster child for all ‘daywalker’ college football fans, and sportswriters (especially those in the northeast). They’ve continued to put together impressive seasons year after year, and every pundit hoping to turn God’s Sport into the NFL uses their program as the biggest reason college needs a playoff.

SEC fans, never ones to feel inferior about their product, have enjoyed the golden years by seeing the crystal ball stay in conference for 5 straight years. There have been countless arguments about why the SEC has dominated (team speed, great coaching, cheating), but there is no doubt that the game in Glendale in 2007 is Exhibit A as to why your shitty conference sucks.

Last year Boise would have lost its statement game had Va Tech not decided to integrate the Les Miles Clock Management System, and the Bob Pruett Bend Don’t Break Defense. However, they did pull it out, and gave us 10 weeks of Bob Ryan-types whining about the system until Nevada thankfully restored order.

This year is different. Boise plays the SEC. Not just Georgia, but the SEC. A win over perhaps the 6th best team in the conference, and the madness will start again. Of course, SEC fans thinks even Ole Miss can pound Boise State using a team comprised of the first 11 frat boys with Ducks Unlimited stickers on their Z71’s driving 18 mph past the Grove.

The stakes are high – Richt’s job, the SEC’s reputation, a possible trip to New Orleans for Boise. How does it look?

Matchups:

Coaching: Boise State is the clear winner here. Chris Peterson is not only one of the best game day coaches, he is also one of the best game week coaches. His teams execute better than anyone in the country, and they are fundamentally sound in all facets. Richt coaches well when expectations are low, but seems to fold in critical games, and against teams wearing Orange and Blue. Uh-oh.

Advantage: BSU

Boise St Offense vs UGA Defense: The Broncos return their QB, 2 RB’s, and 3 lineman. They lost 2 very good wideouts, but Kellen Moore is simply fantastic in this offense, and only Case Keenum has more experience at this position. Georgia returns 7 starters from a shaky unit that was under a new scheme last year. Year 2 typically yields better results, and they had better since Richt has gone all in with the 3-4. Few WAC teams use the 3-4, and none do so with linebackers as big and fast as the Bulldawgs. Can Moore distinguish which guys are rushing, and who is in coverage? The game may very well hinge on this.

Advantage: BSU

UGA Offense vs BSU Defense: Aaron Murray has been described as – “being a very good for his age”, “having great potential”, and “not Joe Cox”. He has the tools, but he had better since they are starting a 4 year old at tailback, and are a hot mess along the line. Charles and King will be the most talented eligible receivers BSU will have to cover this year. Boise is athletic and fast, but undersized on the D-line. They have always succeeded in disguising coverages and blitzes, and I expect that to continue. They should be able to get pressure on the edges, but can they stop the run?

Advantage: UGA

Special Teams: Boise is breaking in a new kicker, punter and returner. UGA is returning senior starters at all three.

Advantage: UGA

Coeds:  Really?  BSU is bringing a #2 pencil to a gunfight.

Advantage: UGA 

Winner: UGA 24-17.

 -Ocular Patdown

CHANNELLING THE INNER CHUCK JONES

THE Big-10 (12?) Preview:

Personality profiles are utilized by many: employers, marketers, serial-killer chasers, but rarely has it been used to define a conference. If we do so loosely call the Big 10 (12?) a conference, then each team’s prospective gridiron wealth may be determined with nary a gander at last year’s record, or analysis as to whether there is a returning quarterback, or returning coach, or pre-season all conference selections, but instead by who they are.

In judging character, we may compare by using the best caricatures. There was no better cartoon group in creating full-blown one-dimensional personalities than the classic Warner Brothers group in the middle of the last century. What better characters to define, therefore, a completely one-dimensional league. Listed in order of predicted finish, Legends and Leaders be damned:

  

The new guy on the block is actually, in football success terms, the oldest. The Huskers have really found a home with this conference in that they fit well in overall game-philosophy: Stop teams from scoring and score only if necessary to win. Like their galliform brother, the sit rather tall and talk (albeit with a drawl) with some confidence, when in reality the foundation of their perceived success is quite fragile. While the Texas and Florida programs can overcome coaching and personnel issues because of their great locations / facilities, Lincoln, NE is nobody’s destination place. They are plugging along fine with a solid coach….but the terrain is rocky.

Prediction: 10-2. Best case scenario: 12-0. Worst case scenario: 0-12.

Nobody really believes that all that Badger students do is drink beer and eat cheese.  You do?  Well, so do I.  That malaise helps explain why seeming annual teams with strong defense and strong running games consistently poop out at some point and fall woefully under expectations.  Should we believe in Wisconsin?  Certainly not, but the sun don't shine on the same dog's ass every day, so eventually the Badger will get their shot.  By wasting away at the bar, however, they will miss another golden opportunity.

Prediction: 10-2. Best case scenario: 12-0. Worst case scenario: 0-12.

Which bird looks meaner to you?  We never expect much from Iowa and why would we?  They have almost nothing going for them, except an exceptional coach.  The location is lousy and there is no recruiting base.  Yet, like their yellow diminutive counter-part, they constantly surprise through crafty smart players and dogged overachievement.  Where does that take them this year?  The same place it takes them every year, to the Outback Bowl.

Prediction: 10-2. Best case scenario: 12-0. Worst case scenario: 0-12.

                                         


I can appreciate the desire to win just like anyone else.  But the Buckeyes cut a swath through the NCAA rulebook like few schools have.  Now obscured by the fine work of Nevin Shapiro, one must not overlook the pioneering Jim Tressel in the annals of really shitty decisions.  Nevertheless, that cheating left the cupboard rather full and, with another fine recruiting class, the Buckeyes can't slip that far down.  This much whirling, spinning reckless damage must show up somewhere, however.

Prediction: 9-3. Best case scenario: 12-0. Worst case scenario: 0-12.

Ah, the classic little brother syndrome. Perhaps the easiest program to diagnose, they sit constantly in their big-brother's shadow in football hungry Michigan.  The last several years would have been a golden opportunity to grasp the Big-Ten mantle while proud Michigan slowly burned.  However, like the obstinate duck they resemble, they instead make few moves in real improvement, linger around at "solid" program status and remain a distant second fiddle to the star of the show.  They not only trail Michigan (who will return), but also trail now two more programs who control their states.  The future, therefore, is far from bright.

Prediction: 8-4. Best case scenario: 12-0. Worst case scenario: 0-12.

    We keep expecting this former juggernaught to perform.  They tease and tease and tease.  This year's Michigan unit is released finally from Junior PeeWee football philosophies, yet we have no real idea if they have the right coach.  This particular school will always be able to recruit with a certain eye toward success, but is what is left on the roster capable of running a pro-style offense.  Michigan fans should not have to wait much longer for a consistent winner.  This team cannot get by with glimpses of competence, only to get crushed when facing competition of similar or greater quality.  They will have to perform when the curtain is up, and the lights are on.

 Prediction: 8-4. Best case scenario: 12-0. Worst case scenario: 0-12.

There is no getting around it, Penn State has an image issue.  The rest of the country is hiring cutting edge coaches who are young and innovative, yet Joe Pa (between yearly hip surgeries, mind you), still patrols the sidelines (or the booth).  His name will attract some recruits, but the best names are leaving the Northeast and going south or west.  The players he has are not even good enough to beat, say, the worst Florida Gator team since 1989.  Although the program has some pride and can bow up when it wants to, it cannot get bombed again by Bama and not have it sting.  More of the same.

Prediction: 7-5. Best case scenario: 12-0. Worst case scenario: 0-12.

                                 
Everything is sold as gold in Champaign, but something just doesn't smell right.  Expect this program to be the subject of the next great Yahoo Sports Expose.  But don't worry, there is a mean pepper steak served every Tuesday at the Joliet pen.  The Fighting Zookers sometimes bite back against equal to lesser opponents, but typically they will lose to those they should lose to and lose to some they should not.  Nevertheless, there is a weak enough schedule and just enough remaining talent that should keep the Illini bowl eligible.  Zook may find a way to screw that up, however.

Prediction: 7-5. Best case scenario: 12-0. Worst case scenario: 0-12.

   If they are such geniuses, then why aren't they better?  Like the  wonderfully wise Marvin the Martian, the Cats have enough resolve to out think they opposition, but do not have the physicality (is that really a word?) to match the Big-Ten's other more impressive programs.  Case in point is our guest from the Astronomy Department at Northwestern.  His name is Nathaniel Stern.  Part of his course of study emphasizes the electroweak sector of the Standard Model, as well as searches for new particles and new phenomena.  They have measure the production of W and Z bosons which mediate the weak interactions - this is the gateway to the exciting studies of the top quark and, possibly, the discovery of the Higgs Boson.  Any more questions why they stink? 

Nathaniel (Nate, to non-friends) Sterns' Prediction: 

Prediction: Do you really want me to calculate the odds and make predictions?  I am a scientist and I can only make predictions on any number of possiblities.  The possible scenarios are in the millions.  Take for instance the possibility of an injury to the quarterback in the second series of the first quarter....that would make the odds of winning that particular game go down by 37%...and, think about this.....click.

OUR prediction: 6-6. Best case scenario: 12-0. Worst scenario: 0-12.

Like our erstwhile engineer of the valley, this mercurial program in Indiana has surprisingly been somewhat of a quarterback feeding ground for the NFL for some time.  You just know that many of their graduates are directly responsible for manufacturing many of the ACME products used to mixed results by Coyote.  Like Coyote, who is rather ingenius in theory, but poor in execution, the Purdue Boilermakers have settled into the mediocre-to-poor program status for which they truly belong.  This season's entry shows no signs of screwing up that master plan.

Prediction: 5-7. Best case scenario: 12-0. Worst case scenario: 0-12.

This program is all bluster.  They have spend a fair amount of money in recent years building a new stadium and hiring and firing coaches because they truly feel like they should be among the big-boys in college football.  Like the pint-sized gunslinger, they are always seeking to show they belong in the conversation of top programs, so much so that they have come under the considerable thumb of the NCAA in recent years.  But, lets face it, how well could a recruiting visit go in Minnesota?  If you want to play football and go to college on the Hoth System, please sign up today!

Prediction: 3-9. Best case scenario: 12-0. Worst case scenario: 0-12.

         Bringing up the rear is the one program that cannot even point to a modicum of success in the last 30 years or so.  Like the befuddled hunter, they fumble around and rarely make any noise, confused about whether they even want to compete in football.  In Indiana, kids learn farming, school and basketball, probably in that order.  There is no reason, this season or any season, to think that the Hoosiers will do anything other than beat the directional schools on their schedule.

Prediction: 2-10. Best case scenario: 12-0. Worst case scenario: 0-12.

~Stan Gable ~