What I expected from the book was what everyone expected: scandalous talk about Berman’s bar-fly exploits. However, “Those Guys Have All the Fun” did not really deliver. There were scant details of debauchery, just unbridled hate and self-promotion, something I should have expected. There is much to admire about the book, including the anecdote narrative-style that lends itself to short shitter-session perusing. However, as with everything ESPN, the book is simply too big….it is so unwieldy that it slides off the lap while on the shitter, collapsing on the ground, dust jacket flying.
Throughout the 700-page-plus-written-chest-thump, there are maybe 5 pages devoted to College Gameday, ESPN’s crowning achievement, and much of that allotment covers Erin Andrews’ err….hair brushing. Perhaps this omission is by design, as ESPN has done so much to destroy what should have been its flagship show over the last several years. Some of the demise of Gameday was inevitable, much of it not. In order to determine what has gone wrong, we must examine the current players with an eye toward their career arc.
Chris Fowler
– Probably the only unassailable member of the Gameday team. Fowler was there at the beginning, being sprung from the Scholastic Sports America hell to commandeer this traveling road-show. He only gets better with age. Perhaps the on-location set-up helps Fowler stay grounded. While his studio-bound NFL counter-part, Chris Berman, allows his ego to completely absorb the set, Fowler never lets himself become the story, always deferring (not always wisely) to his panel as he, himself, absorbs the campus atmosphere. We do want to be there beside him, talking college football. We want to smell what he smells, which is likely some bastard mix of urine, stale beer and burning Italian sausage. We want to know what he is chuckling about that only he, and his panel, witness from the unruly crowd. It is not a job to him, and we can tell.
Lee Corso
– Perhaps this critique is not fair, as we know that “something” happened to him that has not (to my knowledge) been disclosed. In his heyday he was the perfect foil and resident comedian. Today we are treated with decay instead of self-deprecation. There can be little rationale for continuing to roll Mr. Corso out when he clearly can do little more than squint at the teleprompter and squawk something incoherent. The daffy old coot will give you a crack analysis of the 1993 FSU vs. Notre Dame showdown, but cannot give you any insight into relevant matters. We now enjoy watching him for the same reasons we liked Paula Abdul on American Idol. Whatever pill-addled thing she slurs is better than the actual banter from the show. Such as it is with Corso, who went from actually providing some coherent analysis years ago to becoming a man-sized sock puppet for mascot heads.
Kirk Herbstreit
– Being a Gator fan, there is something about Herbie’s orange skin and blue eyes that is visually pleasing. And, even as a heterosexual of good standing, it is hard not to like him. As someone who has witnessed him working the college bars, he is certainly one to be envied. He does provide some analysis, but this “I am working the game so I can’t predict” nonsense grates on the nerves. Ever since he was slapped down by fans for carrying Michigan’s flag for the national championship game in 2006, only to capitulate after Florida spanked Ohio State, he has lacked credibility from college football fans. It was almost as if he was the last person to figure out Southern football superiority. His decreasing participation in ESPN college football programming has essentially informed viewers that, in reality, he is superfluous.
Erin Andrews
– Erin is certainly Heaven on a long stick. She was wonderful in small doses, but now that she has a prominent role on the show her limitations are evident. First, if you indeed are the girl-next-door who just likes sports then you don’t need to tell us that over and over again. We can SEE if you are indeed that girl and Erin is not. Girls-next-doors don’t date professional ballroom dancers who wouldn’t know a football from a luffa. The show would be better if she was either gone or back to the sideline….and if she was nude.
Desmond Howard
– Perhaps the biggest mistake was bringing in this character to fill in while Corso is in cognitive therapy. He eschews the Queen’s English and instead seeks to add new words to our vernacular. Think a college-football Emmitt Smith. We don’t ask for William F. Buckley when we watch football, but, dang, we need some standards. I know
why he is there, as ESPN is always seeking to expand viewing interest. But, with Mark May you have the perfect diversity-interest placement. Certainly there is another Mark May out there who can hit the road as we need May’s continuing participation in ESPN’s peerless college football studio show. This guy, however, needs to go. Moreover, we don't need two Big-Ten (12?) guys to over-analyze an irrelvent league.
Whatever-asshat-Country-Pop-Jimmy-Buffett-Wannabe-That-Provides-The-Music-This-Season-Guy
– First question: Why do we need another Jimmy Buffett if Jimmy Buffett is still alive? This trend has to stop or the WWL will be burned to the ground. Nothing enrages fans more than the contrived music-video it must endure before it gets its sports. WE LIKE THEME MUSIC. JUST ASK CBS!!! THEY DON’T DO THIS CRAP AND EVERYONE LOVES THEIR THEME!!! Forced watching of this annual dreck is enough to make Alex DeLarge join the priesthood. Just remember, Hank was forced on the Monday Night Football crowd and is only acceptable now because of longevity….and a wildly familiar tune.
While it is easy to criticize, I endeavor to suggest improvements. The first order of business is to get Corso out of there. In his place, you need someone unpredictable who still may have some knowledge. You only need to go to the bastion of southern football, Alabama, for two candidates: Joe Namath and Kenny Stabler:
Namath loses flavor now that he has apparently quit drinking in the aftermath of the Suzy Kolber affair, but think of the panty-race between he and Herbie on the road. Stabler, on the other hand, would be pure genius. Apparently not recognizing or acknowledging his drinking problem (as no good southern man would), he of the wafty white hair and spoiled liver would give instant gravitas to the proceedings. Also, it is long overdue for a network that (rightly) sold its soul to the S.E.C. to have a southerner on the panel.
Another change:
Dump Andrews and bring in Jill Arrington. I don’t care if you just make a cardboard cut-out of her and stick it on the sideline….she needs to be part of college football again.
Another change:
Shorten the dang show. Maybe this is my own limitation. I am no longer a hung-over college student who did not have anything better to do on a Saturday morning than stumble around, call the campus bookie, make bets, then eat the pizza that someone ordered at 2:30 a.m. but passed out before it arrived, and watch Gameday. No, sigh….no. I now have a wife, a home, an un-mowed yard, several kids and much, much less time to devote to Gameday. Give me an hour and a half of relevant coverage and END IT before leading into to Illinois v. Indiana at noon……or don’t, I really don’t care…..
~Stan Gable ~
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