Like Manna from Heaven

Boiled Peanuts [bowled, pay-nuhtz]:  an iteration of the prepared legume arachis hypogaea, enjoyed primarily by blue-collar classes across regions known for peanut production;  this inherently excludes Miami and Connecticut as both minute fan bases are quick to point out their unfounded superiority based on their socioeconomic status and quality of education… oh the irony.

 

Screeching wheels and the smell of burning metal fill the air as a rusty-yellow passenger train comes to a bumpy halt.  30 yards across from my claimed real-estate on the station platform, I find myself staring directly at a man with two plastic barrels—the worst of which serving as a seat and the slightly more stable one employed as a hopper for a food product.  In the fading daylight it’s difficult to make out what this man is peddling to his fellow passengers so I yell,

“Watcha sellin? 

“Deese suh ah Pee-nuhs.”

“Are they roasted or boiled?”

“Deese’em roasted; what’s ah boiled peenuh?”

“Same as roasted except you cook them in  really hot, salty water, and some people boil them in spices”

“So yuh bowl dem eh?  Nobody sells bowled peanuts on duh trains.  I’ma hava try dis. Thanks uh mistah.”

Before you start making brash accusations that this exert is plagiarized from some Stowe or Mitchel novel that you likely never read (albeit if you did, Dan Mullen would be the first to tell you that he read it ten years before you and he read it in Hebrew... backwards), the above exchange actually occurred in real life at a train station in South Africa.  I like to think that just over a year later, the salesman on the train has a booming boiled peanut empire, fronting for an elaborate money laundering scheme and all because of our little conversation; but sadly, reality typically does not play golf with my imagination, so I doubt it.   

Boiled peanuts, from all indication, are a paradox--even in the South.  If you go too far west, north, or south of Southern Georgia, these salty little beans from heaven rapidly lose their appeal.  Given his geographical history and his self-proclaimed blue-collar mentality, it should come as no surprise that one William Larry Muschamp listed a boiled peanut stand in Tift County, GA as one of his must-stop places to eat when traveling (SEC Coaches Questionnaire ).  Many complain that boiled peanuts are too squishy or taste like "wet dirt" (also known as mud in the South).  But we few, we happy few (that is plagiarized for those keeping score) know that while ordering Steak Au Poivre and driving a Mercedes Benz may tell others that you’re cultured and worldly; real men drive Z71s and get their essential vitamins, minerals, and protein from a boiled bean oft confused as a nut.  So for those of you interested, below you’ll find a recipe that will allow you to embrace the fruit of the terroir from which you will ultimately return.

 Ingredients

• 1 pound raw peanuts, in shells
• 1 (3 ounce) package dry crab boil (such as Zatarain's® Crab and Shrimp Boil)
• 1/2 cup chopped jalapeno peppers
• 1 tablespoon garlic powder
• 1/2 cup salt
• 2 tablespoons Cajun seasoning
• 1/2 cup red pepper flakes

Directions

1. Place peanuts, crab boil, jalapenos, garlic powder, salt, Cajun seasoning, and red pepper flakes into a slow cooker. Pour in water to cover the peanuts and stir to combine. Cover and cook on Low until peanuts are soft, at least 2-4 hours. Stir occasionally, and add water as needed to keep peanuts covered. Drain; serve hot or cold. 

  
31 Days until Football Season!

 ~March Hare~