WHAT COMES AFTER TAILGATING......A HELPFUL GUIDE

The college football season is a mere three weeks away and it is time to start planning your gameday strategies. Sure everyone will focus on where you are going to tailgate…..can we get under that 100-year old oak to provide needed shade from the sweltering sun? What meats are we going to throw on the grill…..who’s bringing the grill, anyway? Who’s bringing the Flat screen and do we have the dish ready? And, of course, what will be the beverage of choice for this year’s season?

While I’m sure each one of you have your own gameday plan ready to execute, but what about once you enter the stadium? How do you keep yourself in that euphoric stupor that you’ve spent hours creating?

Well The Stache is here help.

Here are a few precautions and recommendations for sneaking your favorite “beverage” into the stadium.

1. You want to avoid any bottles larger than pints……sure it may seem obvious to you, but I have witnessed firsthand a young co-ed that attempted to sneak a fifth of Jack in her purse. “Shockingly” she was busted and missed out on an opportunity to watch her beloved team battle on the gridiron.

2. Beware of the cargo pockets…..sure the extra pockets provide you additional storage space, but it is obvious to security and will likely be the first place they check.

3. Use your date as your mule…..sure she may get busted, but did you really want to watch the game with her anyway?! Recommended location: In the cleavage….no security guard will check there (also best used in conjunction with the double baggy method (more on this later).

4. Wear loose fitting clothes……this provides you with a greater ability to hide your liquid gold via the double baggy method, the sack drop, or the floppy flask (read below).

Now, for the really important stuff…..my top 4 methods for sneaking in the goods (in reverse order):

#4. The Double Baggy – take a ziplock bag, fill it half full and seal it up then place it inside of a second baggy remove the air and seal it up. This provides you with a built in safety in the event the first bag leaks.

#3. The Floppy Flask – you strap this baby around your waist and it even comes with an easy pour nozzle; though it can be a bit bulky……of course you could go with the whizzinator, but that may present a whole other set of problems.

#2. The Stache’s preferred choice – The Sack Drop…..this happens to be best used with Crown mini’s (the Stache’s drink of choice). Take that beautiful velvet bag and tie the strap onto a belt loop and then drop into your waistline. It is practically unnoticeable and provides easy access during the game.

And #1 – Tape your bottle under your seat…..this is a difficult one, but without a doubt the most successful. The key is to be able to enter the stadium the day before the game and to know your seat number. Go into the stadium find your seat, sit down and just reflect on your day. Then discreetly reach under and tape your bottle to the underside of your seat (be sure to use quality tape). Then come gameday you can just stroll into the stadium and your drink is waiting for you. The Stache has never tried this, solely because when I was in school I never had the forethought to pull something like this off.

I hope this will help everyone maximize their gameday experience because from what the Stache has been told, if you do get busted not only do you miss the game, but you may find yourself in a holding cell for an evening……and we don’t want that.

Here’s to the forthcoming season. Cheers!

- Tom Selleck's Mustache