WON'T JUST BANNING HARRISON WORK?

Brain safety is a big deal in the NFL now....an example of why:



Its hilarious and quaint that this is called a "good clean hit" by the commentators.  Does that say more about us now or then?  Not sure and not sure I care.  But, while Dick Butkus and Mike Curtis are remembered fondly as hard hitting linebackers, other similar players like James Harrison are considered barbarian miscreants.  What began with the Quarterbacks now includes receivers and running backs....the NFL is determined that no one get hit.

The NFL is going to legislate this game into soccer with pads, or worse, lacrosse.  While I am not in favor of concussions, there must be other answers.  I can offer a few:

Safer helmets:

While there were fewer head injuries when the leather helmets were in vogue, I am willing to concede the bigger-faster-stronger argument.  Technology is already well underway to create the safest helmet that very few allocated dollars can buy.  These new helmets are very attractive and wearable, but do not interfere with the crucial "head-on-a-swivel" movement necessary for effective game play.  The plus of this option is that safeties may still launch themselves head-first at defenseless receivers who venture into the middle of the field without fear of recourse.  The middle of the field again becomes the domain of Ronnie Lott, not Ed Hoculi. 

Stationary Quarterbacks:

Without a doubt, the Quarterback is the catalyst for all of this "legislation". The great Timmy Tebow aside, no quarterback really wants to run.  Therefore, make it a rule that quarterbacks cannot leave the pocket.  What better way to completely eliminate danger to the quarterback then to eliminate the pass-rusher and conform the game to a high definition intramural flag game.  As an alternative, the defense could incorporate the one-Mississippi count system....I offer to five, but such a number is flexible. 

Smaller players:

This would be a genius move by Roger Goodell.  Limit the size of an NFL player to, say, 6 foot and 175 lbs. Could this injury to Theisman have been caused by a 5'6", 150 pounder?  Likely not.  If this rule were in effect in 1985, we would not have lost the single-bar Elvis and, in turn, would not have to watch the clown as a broadcaster for several more years.  By doing this, NFL teams would have to open up tryouts, allowing any Joe Sixpack (assuming he gives up the sixpack to train for six months) a chance at making an NFL roster.  No more trains colliding, replaced by matchbox cars that would produce much less in the way of injuries.

Or, we can just stop being pussies........

~Stan Gable ~