OUT OF LOBSTERS………..ARE YOU SERIOUS?!

So to kick off the first annual PUNT ON 3RD DOWN’S BCS Conference preview, we give you the Big East……I know what you are thinking, “Are they really a BCS Conference?”

They retained that status for at least another year……thankfully, TCU is coming in 2012, so hopefully they will make the conference legit.

I think the conference is best summed up by the annual Monday Clambake at the Big East Media Days where the annual eat-fest came up short (much like the conference)…….The Monday Night Clambake

Would you expect anything more from the conference piñata of the BCS?

Now on with the preview……………..

1. WEST VIRGINIA – All Holgo, all the time…………

The Stache is loving him some Dana Holgorsen…….though the man needs a stache to complete the man crush.

This guy goes sky diving for his birthday, he gets kicked out of a casino due to intoxication, and pounds red bulls on the sidelines just to quench his thirst.

Though I must say, all Morgantown needs is to have those drunken hillbillies hopped up on red bull…..couches be damned!

The WVU offense has 8 returning starters including Geno Smith, who if he plays half as well as Brandon Weedon (see Okie State QB) did last season, will throw for 4,000 yards.

The defense only returns 4 starters, but doesn’t matter as the ‘Neers will simply outscore all their opponents.

Other than a date with LSU, the ‘Neers have a manageable schedule.

The Stache Prediction:  9-2 and win the Big East…..and a trip to Miami in the Orange Bowl.


2. SOUTH FLORIDA – Skip’s interview…….

Skip Holtz enters his second year at USF with dreams of capturing the school’s first Big East crown and first trip to a BCS bowl….along with a job offer to a big-time program.

However, with only 4 returning starters on offense (one of which is the very inconsistent QB BJ Daniels) and only 6 returners on defense, I think the optimism in Tampa is a little misguided.

The opener in South Bend could define the season though as history has shown those early upsets (see Auburn, FSU, and Miami) are overshadowed by the failures of November.

At least the school is trying to build a tradition……….

Of course, I always liked their old fight song……and I know their co-eds do.

The Stache Prediction:  7-5 and a trip to Charlotte once again, while the alum visit the co-eds on Dale Mabry.


3. SYRACUSE - In Marrone and The Stache we Trust………

Doug Marrone enters his third year with the Quse coming off an 8-5 record that included a bowl victory over Kansas St.

With 7 returning starters on offense and 5 starters on defense the Orange is looking to build off of last season’s success. Lead by QB Ryan Nassib on offense and DE Chandler Jones anchoring the defense, but the Stache’s favorite player, by far, is returning starter DE Mikhail Marinovich, who showed up to media days with this gem…..two thumbs up, way up!

If the Orange expects a return trip to the post season, then (recently named team captain) Sr. Antwon Bailey will have to put up the same kind of numbers that departed RB Delone Carter did a year ago.

The Orange still have a great home field advantage, as the Carrier Dome has shown in the past to be a place of horrors for teams…….ain’t that right Ole Ball Coach?!

The non-conference schedule is manageable, except for a trip to the Coliseum (though the Stache would like nothing more than to see the Orange upset Kiffie’s team in LA.  The conference schedule plays in the Orange’s favor hosting WVU and USF, but they end the season at Pitt.

The Stache prediction:  7-5 for the Quse and go bowling again this winter.


4. PITTSBURGH – No more Wanstache……

The Stache would like to take a moment of silence for the loss of a great Stache……the Wanstache

The man couldn’t coach for shit, but damn did that man look go driving a camaro!

Let the Mike Haywood era begin……oops…..I mean, let the Todd Graham era begin and with it, he brings back 8 returning starters on defense and 6 on offense, including QB Tino Sunseri.

Graham is bringing with him the air raid offense that he ran at Tulsa, but the question is how will that offense translate come November in Heinz Field.

Look for the Panthers to rely on their defense and the running of Ray Graham (no relation) early in the season until Sunseri has an opportunity to grasp the offense.

With early dates at Iowa, followed by Notre Dame, and a few weeks later hosting Utah, this could be a tough year for Panther fans.

The Stache Prediction:  7-5 and a trip to some shitty bowl in Memphis or Birmingham.


5. UCONN – Paul Pasqualoni…..REALLY?!

You know the program isn’t going anywhere when the most successful head coach in the school’s history bolts for……wait for it…….Maryland, WTF?!
 

No boys!  You hold it like this!



Then you have big boosters wanting their money back because the school didn’t go after the football genius, Steve Addazio (hope you detected the sarcasm there because I was laying it on pretty thick).

With all that being said, this team returns 9 starters on defense from a team that went to the Orange Bowl last season. If they get any offensive support this team will could contend for the conference crown.

But then again, this Pasqualoni…..who with a little effort could become the Houston Nutt of the Big East.

The Stache Prediction:  7-5 and maybe a trip to a warm weather bowl game.


6. LOUISVILLE – Intensity doesn’t unbutton the top button!
 

Charlie Strong returns for his second season….and really does it matter who’s on the team? This man has the “will” to take his team to another bowl, but it won’t be easy. There are only 4 returning starters on offense, but he does have 7 on defense. So the days of Bobby Petrino airing it out 50 times a game are long gone. This team will win on defensive pressure and field position.

They replace their entire backfield, but it’s not like they were planning to score a bunch anyway……this team will win a lot of low scoring affairs.

The Stache Prediction:  6-6 and another trip to the Trop so they can experience the beauty that is St. Pete Beach in December......The Stache would also recommend that the Cardinals' fans visit the USF Co-eds on Dale Mabry while in the Bay area.....keep up Conference unity.


7. CINCINNATI – Is it time to get another MAC coach?!

So Butch Jones followed up a 12-1 season by Brian Kelly with a 4-8 turd. This season we shall see if the MAC magic will return for the Bearcats. They return 11 starters off a shitty defense, which leads to the infamous question……Does a year turn a shitty player into a quality player? Just because you have returning starters doesn’t mean you will improve.

The Bearcats offense brings back 5 starters on offense led by QB Zach Collaros that usually runs at the first hint of pressure or finds a DB to tattoo in the chest.

Don’t expect much improvement from this year’s squad…..well maybe a game.

The Stache Prediction:  5-7……..No bowl for you!

8. RUTGERS – Wonder if Schiano is second guessing himself………

Just a few years ago the hottest name in the coaching ranks this side of Urban Meyer was Greg Schiano, however, coming off a 4-8 season (which included losing the final 6 and their starting QB transferring to Arizona) the Scarlet Knights don’t appear to be in a position to rebound this season. Injuries to the Oline and unproven skill position makes the Stache think this season could be a long one.

So it appears that things are returning to the norm in Piscataway…….Rutgers losing.

The Stache Prediction: 4-8 again and Schiano’s stock continues plummet.

Final Stache Prediction......the upcoming BCS conference previews promise to be more informational than this one, but then again, this was only the Big East.

- Tom Selleck's Mustache